My Aunt Rhonda

My aunt Rhonda was diagnosed with lung cancer last summer.  Luckily she lives close to my aunt Julie who has been there for her every step of the way.  My mom has also made many trips to help as this has unfolded over that last little while.  Paige and I were trying to count the weeks and we think my mom has been gone about two months total since last summer.  My grandma ended up moving to Utah a couple of months ago and has been able to spend lots of time with her girls.  

Rhonda has been through a couple of different treatments and has had many ups and many more downs.  She was such a trooper through all of it as she dealt with the idea of leaving this earth sooner than she had ever planned.  Rhonda was never married and has never had children.  I had a conversation with her a couple months ago when she expressed to me her fears of leaving no one behind.  The sadness that she felt from never having a family of her own really made me hurt for her.  

At this point in time Rhonda is receiving hospice care at my Aunt Julies house and the veil is slowly thinning for her.  My mom made it down there last night in hopes to ease some of the pain everyone is feeling, or to just simply cry with them.  Rhonda is in and out as far as being awake goes and the main priority right now is making sure she is comfortable.  My mom gives me quick little updates when she can.  The past couple of days Rhonda has been in "another place".  She wakes up thinking she is going on her mission again.  Thinking about this now makes me a little emotional.  What a tender mercy that the Lord is preparing her in a way that no one else could.  One of her happier times in life was on her mission 30 years ago.  Now, I believe the Lord is preparing her for her next mission.  

I know that throughout this illness she has expressed to me and probably my mom and julie and my grandma among others that she is afraid to die.  Her questions are why me? why now? I know that she feels like she has so much more to do here before moving on.  She's been through a lot in her life and she's come back from it all.  I honestly believe that the Lord is satisfied with her progress in this life and wants her to teach others about the realness of the atonement and pure love that Jesus Christ has for us all.  She has experienced fully the gift of the atonement and is the perfect tool for those waiting beyond the veil.  

I know she'll probably never read this but I want her to know how much I love her.  I am still young but I have watched the changes she has made in her life and I can't imagine the strength she must possess in order make those changes.  Our family is a small one but she is a big part of it.  She has been the tool in bringing her family together as one. I can't think what I'd do if it were one of my sisters (or brother) who was in her position.  My world would fall apart.  But my mom's family has kept it together and they have grown so much from this experience.  

I haven't dealt with much death in my life.  My Grandpa died in March '06.  His death brought our family closer together too.  He was not a member of the church and I've always wondered what it would have been like for him to pass through the veil.  I feel very strongly that Rhonda will see Grandpa (who was her step-dad) and I know it will be a very sweet reunion.  

I am headed down to Utah on Friday and I hope I make it in time to tell her how much I love her and to bear my testimony to her that I know the Lord loves her and I know he has so much in store for her once this battle with cancer is over.

Rhonda and Grandpa dancing at our wedding