We'll just call him JJ.

Yesterday I left my house around 11am to run some errands. When I came back up our road sometime between 2:30 and 3:00 I saw our side door wide open and in an instant noticed the door frame was split and broken. I pretended like I wasn't looking and drove straight to our neighbors house (the only other house on our little dirt road). I went to Diane (our neighbor) and told her that I thought someone (who will be referred to as Johnny Jackass or JJ for short so you don't have to read my profanity over and over again) broke into our house and asked if I could use her phone. She told me that not even 15 min. before, her dogs went crazy barking and she could hear other dogs nearby barking. I called Jake first, he left work. Then I called the police. I was too scared to go to the house so I waited at my neighbors. Jake called a couple of minutes later and told me that the night before (I was working and got home at 3:30 am...) he got home around 8pm and when he turned onto our road there was a guy crouching down by some trees with a red frisbee "looking at rocks" and wouldn't look at Jake. He left the kids in the car and checked the house out cause he had a bad feeling in his gut about this guy. (Lesson learned #1: Call the police when you have a bad feeling in your gut) Jake showed up 15 or 20 minutes later and still no police. We waited another 10-20 minutes then Jake called again and basically told them this is ridiculous, where is a patrol car?! About three minutes after that one showed up....

I went down to the house where Jake and the officer already were checking things out. While we were waiting for the officer to show up we were trying to recall what was in the house that might be taken. At the top of the list was the laptop, it's always on our coffee table, $200 in cash that we just got for the bunkbeds we sold, (We never ever have cash any other time) and a few other things. At first glance we could tell that JJ kicked in the door (which is a door that goes into Cooper's bedroom, seriously so P-Oed about that) and basically went straight to our bedroom. All the drawers were pulled out, everything was knocked out of shelves and off of their surfaces. There was a little box on Jake's bookshelf that had his little mission trinkets in it, and $50 he was saving for our trip. They took the whole box. What little items Jake had from his short mission, gone. We have a stand on the dresser that keeps our phones, keys, wallets, camera etc on it. Luckily we both had our wallets and phones and the camera was with me in the car. But the extra civic keys were gone along with the $200 cash from the bunkbeds. (Lesson Learned #2: keep important things such as keys, cash, etc in your tupperware drawer)

**Sidestory: Sunday night Jake left the keys in the van and Monday they were nowhere to be found. We starting to wonder if they swiped them then and have been watching us and scoping us out for a few days now. Seriously nervewracking and ever so creepy.**

The items missing so far are laptop and cord, printer w/o cord and cover (I think JJ tripped on his way out because part of the printer broke off and the cord was on the floor going out the door), the cash and our car keys. (Lesson Learned #3: Renters Insurance, a simple $10/month would have been nice right about now that our total is rounding to somewhere around $2200, which still isn't much, but you know.)

The officer took his notes and asked us about changing the locks. He then gave us a tip that the whole world should know. Bear with me cause I don't know what I'm talking about but you know the piece of hardware on the door frame that catches the door, it's got a hole in it for the thingy on the door knob to go into when you turn it? Well it comes with 1 in. screws that just hold it in. Take those out, predrill 3 in holes and sink some 3 incher screws into the stud. Your door will buckle before it gets kicked in. (Lesson Learned #4: Make it a little harder for JJ instead of allowing him a wimpy a$$ kick to the door.)

Right after the officer left Jake and I tried to catch our bearings. I called the bank and put an alert on our account, change our online passwords and ordered new cards. I think I will actually close the account and open a new one today. We grabbed a couple of things, secured the broken door, locked up and headed to the Frys. Later last night Jake and I went back to the house to clean up. We crossed our fingers hoping that by some miracle we'd find JJ's ID or something like that, no such luck. It was creepy to be there. It felt wrong. We packed up our stuff and slept at the Fry's last night. Today Jake is out fixing the doors and securing windows. I have made phone calls to pawn shops, changed passwords for emails, set appointments to re-key both cars and I plan on visiting every neighbor on our street.

Thank goodness we weren't there when it happened. If it did in fact occur when the dogs were barking, I barely missed it. (Thank you distraction thrift shopping at St. Vincents) It seemed as though maybe (if it happened when the dogs were barking) they panicked and left without some things that I thought for sure they'd take (a PS2, a stereo, laptop speakers, a brand stinkin' new sewing machine, etc etc etc.) Maybe all they're after is our identity and they're trying to get that off of our computer, the cash and keys were simply a bonus. He's pawed my undies and seen pictures of my children. He knows what he left in the house and has keys to both of our cars. Well come on back JJ cause Lesson Learned #5 is to buy a shotgun.